Written by Craig Pascute
It’s Monday, the first of school, and the house is quiet. The wife is out running errands and there is no sound in here except a cricket that is stuck in the vent in my dining room. Jake is starting 3rd grade today and was super excited this morning, although I could sense some nervousness in his voice. Zack man is starting 1st grade.He was happy go lucky as usual. Amanda drove them both to school this morning and escorted them to their classes.
Every year I get a strange separation feeling when they go to school. One of the harder days in the recent years was the first day Jake went to school ever. I still remember the anxiety of that day. All day we were waiting for a phone call from school that didn’t come. I had the same feeling when they went to Lake James Camp in the summer. The boys are brave and easy going that is for sure. I am so thankful for both of them. Since I am not working I have a feeling I am going to miss all the noise here shortly. I guess there are some down sides to being retired before turning 30 :).
I should update on health before I forget as well. I am doing pretty good for a balding old man :). My head is shaved because I got creeped out when I ran my hand through my hair and had a big chunk in my hands. I don’t have the nicest head shape ever which is why God gave me hair in the first place :).
Besides my hair, I tried golfing for the first time last week in months. I went with dad (thanks by the way) and had fun. It was the worst golfing I have done in years though. We play if you get a 9 you pick up the ball and move on to the next hole. Normally that doesn’t happen where the rule is needed, but I had more 9s then anything else. I am actually dreading playing in the golf outing because my game is so bad right now. For one thing I am roughly 65 pounds lighter then when I last golfed. The means the ball is in a different spot when I swing the club. I am standing quite a bit closer to it since there is less of me to swing around :). Also I don’t have the strength that I had this summer. I wish I could say I have lost 65 pounds of fat, but I have a feeling I am down quite a bit of muscle mass as well as fat. Just caring my clubs from the trunk of one car to the other started me sweating. I used to walk and carry the clubs for 18 holes multiple times a week without much problem. I need to talk with the doc to see if there is anything I can do on my end or if it is a losing battle.
Speaking of the doc, my last appointment went well. I am off the 5FU chemo pack and have been on pill form for a few days now. There are 8 pills a day more now that I have to take but I am glad to do so. I love not having a purse attached to me again. So far taking the pills haven’t been a problem, but I have been warned that depending on how things go that could change quickly. I have been praying that I can continue swallowing for a long time :). My next doc appointment is just a quick check up to make sure I am doing ok with the pills and then the next big appointment will be round 3 with the chemo day. I can’t lie, I am dreading chemo day as well as the few days following. Doc said he is changing the premeds a bit to give me more nausea resistance. I hope it goes better this time.
On one hand I am grateful for the 21 day cycle. I am getting about 15 good days and 6 sick days per cycle. On the other hand those days in the hospital and few days after where I am afraid to eat or ride in a car are hard for me. I spend a lot of time sleeping and praying those days. Most years I get sick with bronchitis in the winter and I really hope I don’t this year.
I have listed several dreads and fears and anxieties today in this post, but I think it is giving the wrong impression. Overall I am happy and very blessed. I have tons to be thankful for and you can ask my wife am happy most of the time. Even when in the hospital I get nurses and docs telling me to keep up the good attitude. Clearly all the support from friends, family, and prayers has been working. Please continue to keep my family in your mind. I really can’t say thank you enough to anyone. I actually annoyed my dad when we golfing because I know I told him thank you about a dozen times. So I will say it one more time and then log off. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope to be around a long time to repay some of the love and care I am constantly getting from everyone.Thank you.